There are some people for whom the sentimental life seems so easy and as natural as breathing and eating. They master perfectly the universal codes of the game lovers, are comfortable with their partner. And above all, they talk about everything that goes through their heads without embarrassment and shame. For others, however, saying a simple sweet word to the other is almost a feat! Shy in love, stingy with words or a bit reserved and somewhat modest, they just can not exteriorize their emotions and unveil themselves. But we know that knowing how to express your feelings is one of the most important aspects of a happy and lasting relationship. In fact, we may want to say the opposite, we all need our partner shows us his feelings.
Express Your Feelings: Why Is It So Difficult?
Expressing with words what one feels is something complex and especially when it comes to love. Indeed, the admission of feelings is often equated with a real insurmountable ordeal for many people. And that for both men and women. Although men are according to the numbers, the most affected by this phenomenon. Several reasons can besides, explain this difficult to express his feelings:
Incompetence in communication
Sometimes it’s not the desire to express one’s feelings that are missing, but rather the lack of control over the proper way of doing it. Indeed, many people have trouble verbalizing what they feel precise because they do not know how to do it. They then become truly dumb when it comes to talking about their emotions. This problem is particularly noticeable in men.
Indeed, we must know that men, in general, do not work the same way as women. And more particularly on the emotional level. Most of the time, the woman expresses what she feels with ease thanks to her emotional intelligence and the wonderful relationship skills she has acquired during childhood through games. While the man, victim of the ancestral inheritance which wants that a man always remains master of him and is in the total control of these emotions, did not just learn to express his feelings. On the contrary, he learned to control them or worse to repress them.
Low self esteem
In addition to a lack of communication skills, reluctance to express feelings may also be due to a lack of self-confidence and self- esteem. But also the fear that the other seizes his declared feelings as a trophy to dominate. Indeed, for some people engaging is akin to proof of their vulnerability. Thus, they are completely blocked and prefer to minimize anything that appeals to feelings. At the risk of exposing their weaknesses and undermining their integrity. Moreover, for most people with low self-esteem, expressing their emotions can cause deep anxiety and a number of questions.
The fear of commitment
For others, expressing feelings to the person who shares their life is implicitly recognizing the existence of a relationship. Yet, commitment is for many synonymous with constraint and threat to their freedom and autonomy. Moreover, while men have always been victims of this sometimes extreme fear of having to ask themselves about a relationship that is so serious, the emancipation of women has made women far less inclined to become more involved in their work. relationship. The fear of commitment is thus part of why some not to express their feelings
Shyness in love
It should be known that the phenomenon of love shyness is not limited only to the seduction phase. Indeed, even in a well-established couple, it happens that one of the partners develops a form of sickly shyness vis-à-vis the other. For this shy man in love, expressing his feelings is a real obstacle course. If it’s not an impossible mission. This can be explained by the fact that shyness in love leads to a panic fear of not being understood. But above all, to be badly judged and to annoy the other. The shy man in love is then often distraught when it comes to entrusting his emotions. Thus, he refuses to give shape to his affection and the daily demonstrations of his feelings.
The Importance Of Expressing Your Feelings In The Couple
As we mentioned earlier, for various reasons, many men and women find it very difficult to put words on the feelings they feel. Now, as you certainly know how to express one’s feelings is a fundamental basis of communication in the couple. It is certainly one of the great pillars of relational well-being.
Indeed, as much for the man as for the woman, to communicate does not mean only to approach big conversations. To communicate is also to be able to express one’s feelings with respect and without fearing the reaction of the other. Moreover, if silence about feelings is sometimes necessary, it can also be interpreted as indifference. Or like a lack of interest. Also, do not forget that sharing feelings is what feeds your couple. If more, it reassures the other and also shows support.
On the other hand, when the couple begins to deteriorate, daring to reveal themselves and expressing their feelings to others can really serve as a boost to the relationship. Moreover, when a woman decides to express her feelings, she will know how to keep her man. For men, expressing your feelings is showing that you are ready to commit and get involved to save the relationship. Moreover, for all those who ask the fateful question of how to keep his man. The best advice would be to tell him orally how much you care about him. Above all, how important it is in your life. Indeed, even if they struggle to admit it, men also need to be reassured by words.
Expressing Your Feelings: 3 Surefire Ways
It goes without saying that expressing one’s feelings when one is not very good with words is a tad complicated. Nevertheless, these few simple techniques to be in place will certainly make things easier for you:
- To dare a true “I love you”: A little I love you from time to time is certainly the simplest way, the most limpid and not diverted to express his feelings. Moreover, know that if these 3 little words seem a priori not have anything special, they are fun to hear and represent for your partner a pledge of your affection and your love.
- Compliments: If you really have trouble aligning the three little magic words, compliments are also a great way to show your partner that you value him or her. On a daily basis, you must, therefore, strive to say at least once a day that you have good words.
- Messages or letters: when it’s hard to say how you feel, an SMS or a small letter can also act as a feeding tray.