How To Better Understand And Manage JealousyUltrell
Although useful for improving important relationships, jealousy is likely to fuel harmful behaviors.
Fear of being replaced or deceived and the desire for exclusivity may force someone to obsessively monitor a partner’s communication, reports, and location information. People who are sickly jealous even try to reduce their partner’s self-confidence, and often go so far as to incite violent behavior.
As a natural and universal emotion, recognition of one’s presence can guide people in strengthening their relationships. By admitting the feelings of jealousy and exploring the emotions that underlie it, we can avoid angry arguments and pave the way for a productive conversation about what might be missing in the relationship and how to repair the bond.
This being established, it is, therefore, necessary to take a closer look at this phenomenon to learn how to deconstruct it and prevent its excess.
1. Listen To Your Emotions
Before understanding how to get rid of jealousy, it should be explained.
Jealousy is a complex emotion that includes feelings of rage, humiliation, insecurity, fear, and worry about the loss of property, status, or emotional connection. It strikes both men and women and is most often caused when a person perceives that a valuable relationship is threatened by a competitor. However, the threat can be real or imaginary.
Jealousy is not limited to romantic relationships, it can also arise between brothers and sisters competing to attract the attention of parents, colleagues or friends.
Although jealousy is a painful emotional experience, psychologists do not view it as an emotion to be suppressed but to listen as a signal, a warning that a valued relationship is in danger and that steps must be taken to regain control.
As a result, jealousy is considered a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds. This motivates people to adopt behaviors that maintain important relationships.
2. The Others Are Not Enemies
The threat we perceive in contact with people who fuel our jealousy is largely shaped by our subconscious.
Even before trying to establish social relations, these people too “beautiful”, “intelligent”, “rich”, “charismatic” … are categorized as toxic, harmful.
The problem is that this feeling is very often based on appearance and that appreciation is a subjective phenomenon by nature.
But it is too easy to forget that these same people also suffer from insecurity and face their doubts.
Quickly, we demonize, we idealize jealousy individuals, as if their very existence was based around the desire to belittle us, to point out our shortcomings.
Jealousy is always devoid of objectivity and pushes us to portray a negative picture, which generates mistrust and aggression.
But to think about it, who is the first victim of such behavior? Who suffers daily from this state of mind? The person who feeds on it to build its evolution …
3. Do Not Compare Yourself To Others
Decidedly, this myth that all individuals with whom we come into contact with judge us, evaluate us and formulate negative opinions with hard skin!
The eyes of others, it is obviously one of the sources of jealousy.
This need to compare oneself, to want to do better, to get more recognition than the other members of our environment poison us.
To the point of preventing us from being realistic: the only person to whom we can compare ourselves is ourselves.
Every human being is different and has his own system of thought and values forged by experience and understanding of the world around him.
Why then will you want to perpetually stimulate competition and the will to crush the other?
We are equal only in rights and obligations. As for the rest, our potentials, our qualities, our desires are totally different.
4. Overcome Your Lack Of Confidence
In fact, jealousy often materializes with a sense of worry that drives us to question the trust we place in others and ourselves.
We have all heard of people checking their partner’s mobile phone or checking their email to make sure he/she does not have a romantic relationship with someone else.
But what does this express? If not psychological imprisonment, a spiral of uncertainty and malaise?
How to live only if we doubt everything and everyone, all the time? Is not this a deprivation of individual and collective liberty?
Is this the way we would like to be treated and perceived? Like potential traitors or dishonest people who hide the truth?
Relational jealousy is an obvious factor of stress and conflict development. It is really only an unconscious fear of being abandoned, a questioning of one’s own value.
It is by working on building self-confidence, accepting to believe rather than to suspect that jealousy can be a bad memory.
Easier said than done? Maybe, but it still represents the first step.
Awareness and introspection are always decisive elements when it comes to psychology.
Knowing how to face one’s fears is to allow oneself to fight them and not to live under the influence of the malaise they produce.
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