Part of your work as a mother or father is to guide your kids and help them in their daily lives. It also means setting boundaries, correcting their behavior, saying no, telling them what to do and what to do better. However, your relationship with your children is so much more than that.
Educating children is much more than putting them on the path you think is right. Positive interactions with your children should promote their emotional growth and improve the learning process. So they also facilitate your “work”. The following suggestions may seem insignificant, almost like a waste of time, but we promise you that they are not.
You probably already know how important it is to hug your kids. Virginia Satir said they need four hugs a day to survive, eight hugs a day to stay where they are, and twelve hugs a day to grow. Many, many authors have written about this same idea.
But, let’s be honest, everyone experiences bad days with his children. There will always be negatively charged moments that you can not avoid or control.
So let’s look at how you can tilt the scale to the healthy side.
Positive Interactions For A Healthy Relationship
As we all yearn for intimate moments with our children, after those times when our hearts are just melting away. These moments of connection are as important to you as a parent as they are to the kids. If your relationship is strong, it is worth bringing all the sacrifices of parenting, because then it enriches both of you.
Incidentally, that’s the only reason kids follow rules voluntarily. Children who feel strongly connected to you as a parent want to cooperate. If they can trust you to be understanding and on their side, they are motivated to follow your example and learn from you.
Now it is important to uphold this will, despite tensions and conflicts that must necessarily be overcome. Studies on the subject show that you and your children should balance every negative encounter during the day with at least five positive interactions. This balance enables a healthy and happy relationship that will withstand the problems of daily life.
If you do not create enough positive moments, you lose that balance and then your children will resist your advice. When the balance tilts, your children’s attitude towards you and your example will change: they will not obey your rules, they will not accept them.
But you are so busy… how are you going to find the time to have these positive interactions with your kids? How can you restore this important balance?
Habits That Strengthen The Relationship
There are many things you can do to strengthen your relationship with your children. The key to the effectiveness of these positive experiences is that they happen every day. That is why it is so important to integrate these types of encounters in everyday life.
The best part of implementing these ideas is that you are not just compensating for the bad times. You will make your whole day more enjoyable, for both sides. By focusing on positive interactions you leave less room for negative realities. Furthermore, your children will be more cooperative if you consolidate these habits, argue less and make more effort to obey.
1- Enjoy Morning Moments
Enjoy some moments with your children every morning. You do not have to talk; it is enough to cuddle, Embrace them. Waking up this way is the best way to start the day.
2- Talk With Your Children During Breakfast
Speak to your children during breakfast. Ask them what they are doing on this day. Be interested in their answers and listen.
3- Leave Love Messages
Leave love messages to them. You can put a note in their lunch box, between the pages of their notebooks, or on their desk.
4- Always Say Goodbye
Always say goodbye and kiss them. Tell them to have a nice day and remind them to have fun.
5- Keep Work Away
Do not do work-related things when you are with your children. These include calls, emails, social media and instant messages.
6- Relax With Your Children
Tantrums are usually a sign of anxiety. Children do not have tantrums to challenge you. When this happens, relax and let go of what you are doing to help your children. Help them release their anger. Be there when they try to regulate their emotions. When they are ready, encourage them to talk. Your job is also here to listen.
7- Encourage Them
Be encouraging when your children are facing a difficult task. Watch their fears and give them encouraging words and friendly gestures.
8- Laugh At Their Jokes
Laugh at their jokes, as silly as they may seem. If their jokes are disrespectful or inappropriate, tell them kindly but definitely that they are not funny.
9- Show Empathy
Show empathy for all the emotions of your children. You can limit their actions, but not their emotions. All emotions are acceptable. When you see how your children feel, you strengthen your connection to them and feed their emotional intelligence.
10- Get Use Of Any Moment To Play With Them
Try to find moments every day to play with them no matter what they want to play. Let their imagination run wild and follow their instructions. It does not matter if the game does not last very long. The most important thing is that it happens every day. Also, make sure it fits into your kids’ routine.
11- Eat One Meal A Day With Your Kids
Eat at least one meal a day with your children. Do not turn on the TV. Instead, encourage them to talk by asking a question that your children find interesting.
12- Listen To Them With Compassion
Listen with compassion. Pay attention to when they tell you about the problems they have in the school or in the environment, especially when it comes to their friends or someone they like. Listening is one of the most important habits you should have if you want to strengthen your relationship with your children.
13- Read Or Sing With Your Kids At Bedtime
Read or sing a song with your children at bedtime. If they are too old, encourage them to read before bed and show interest in the book they are reading.
14- Never Miss The Goodnight Kiss
Give your children a goodnight kiss. If they want to talk, listen. If they are worried about something, it will help them fall asleep, if they can talk about it before.
15- Look After Them
Look after your children to make sure they are well before you go to bed. Even if they do not notice that you are doing it, it will strengthen your bond.
“Sometimes I look for our sleeping children before going to bed. I watch their disheveled heads slumbering on their cushions, and the sadness wells up in me. Did I drink from her smile and laugh and hug her, or did I just complete tasks from my to-do list today? They grow so fast. One morning I may wake up and one of my girls will get married, and I’ll worry: Did I play enough with them? Did I take the opportunity to be part of her life? “Janet Fackrell
Time flies too fast. Do not miss your chance to build a strong bond with your kids!
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