Emotional dependence is characterized by a lack of self-esteem or an obvious erasure towards the loving partner. Where does emotional dependence come from? Can we fight against its harmful effects? Zoom on a flail that makes a lot of ink flow.
What Is Emotional Dependency?
Affective dependency is the fact of not living for oneself but for others. By disappearing completely from his partner, the emotional addict gradually falls into passivity. People who suffer from this type of addiction often have little self-confidence and are constantly seeking approval from their partner/companion in all their businesses. They feel a panic fear of being abandoned and live the love relationship as an everyday struggle.
Where Does Emotional Dependency Come From?
Most emotional addicts find the root of their problems in their childhood. These are usually children who have received little attention and affection and/or who have been empowered too soon (“leave mother alone, you see she is tired”, “do not make noise, your brother is sleeping, “etc.). These people are used to putting others first and do not dare to be in the center of their own attention.
They think that they will be loved only if they are discreet and live mainly through the eyes of others. Finally, the emotional dependents often express real anxiety of the disagreement, they have difficulty to refuse to render a service and avoid as much as possible the conflict. Their behavior, however, is often at the origin because, against their will, they are in permanent demand for affection and recognition. In the end, emotional dependents do not know what they need and can not express their desires or anxieties.
Couples And Emotional Dependency:
How to tell the difference between love passion and emotional dependence? It is not always easy to understand where the boundaries are. As a couple, the emotional addict is in permanent waiting, he is never satisfied with what his partner gives him, whatever the efforts of the latter. The addict is indeed waiting to receive as much as he gives but this need is never satisfied. He may be extremely jealous or require special attention to his partner at any time.
Indeed, it is difficult to go into the background when one suffers from emotional dependence because each absence of the loved one is experienced as extreme suffering. The mere fact of imagining that his partner can have fun and have fun without him seems insurmountable. In such cases, the emotional addict may be uncomfortable or even naughty, which can confuse his partner or make him run away.
Can We Get Out Of Emotional Dependency?
Fortunately, it is quite possible to get out of emotional dependence. It should be noted, however, that most of those who are victims are not aware of their condition. It is often during a consultation with a psychologist that they understand their emotional handicaps.
Affective addicts generally complain about the poor quality of their social relationships, they have trouble making friends, get along badly with their colleagues, and have difficulty managing their dating relationships. These profiles can indeed annoy since they seem to devote themselves to ulterior motives: they expect something in return. They think (more or less unconsciously) that they can only be appreciated if they meet the expectations of others and sometimes make them “too much”.
How To Overcome Emotional Dependency?
Emotional dependence can be overcome through personal development work and possibly psychotherapy. The main problem of the emotional addict is his lack of self-confidence: he mistakenly thinks that he can not be loved for who he is and that he must live through the other. The addict must succeed in integrating the fact that one must first love oneself to succeed in a healthy relationship. The fear of being alone must be overcome by a few simple exercises such as going to the movies alone, going to a restaurant, etc. It is by exceeding the limits that he has imposed that the one who suffers from emotional dependence will be able to understand that he can do a number of things without the approval of others. Sport, artistic expression or meditation are all activities that can help him get to know each other better and thus, gain confidence.
Affective dependence is not irreversible, but to overcome it, it is absolutely necessary to recognize and accept it. An emotional addict who refuses to qualify as such will not be able to live serenely, despite the good-will of his family.