For twenty years now, we talk more and more about emotional intelligence (IE). This is a subject that is sometimes still debated. Some never wanted to believe that the emotional quotient (EQ) was more important than the intelligence quotient (IQ). Indeed, several studies and especially field surveys and testimonials have clearly shown that people who had higher QE were more likely to succeed.
This is especially true for managers. Those with high EQ (and high IQ) are among the great leaders and visionaries. These are the two components of leadership: warmth and strength. For those who would like to know more, I refer you to the book of Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence, T2) which specifically studied the importance of EI in the company and among managers and leaders.
If we focus a bit more on EI’s skills, it will help to better understand why it’s so important.
Several models of emotional intelligence exist. I will not go into details. What is important to remember is that they all agree on the essential elements and especially the key skills. Thus, in the main models, the awareness (or perception) of emotions and their mastery are key characteristics of an emotionally intelligent person. The models differ mainly in the means implemented to make EQ measurement tests.
We will start from Goleman’s model to discover the key competencies and then we will study that of Ilios Kotsou who presents things in an aspect of skills development in practice.
Daniel Goleman published his first book, Emotional Intelligence, in 1995. He is not the inventor of the concept but he has popularized it worldwide. The first use of this term comes from Salovey and Mayer (1990). They define emotional intelligence as “a form of intelligence that involves the ability to control one’s feelings and emotions and those of others, to distinguish between them and to use that information to guide one’s thoughts and actions.”
Goleman in his books will give a whole series of skills that he will also review as and when his publications to give, in 2001, a version based on 4 pillars and twenty skills, based on the conscience and self-control and others. This sounds simple enough, but each skill could be developed in many behaviors to be applied in the field. We will come back to it
We will be interested in these 4 great skills which I will come back to in more detail in other articles.
1- Personal skills:
The first aspect that seems essential is consciousness. We must be aware of our emotions and those of others. It sounds obvious but it’s not. By studying corporate managers, Goleman and others realized that some were considered bullies. They were very authoritarian, not very expressive and were often feared by their collaborators. These managers arrive at certain economic results but often on the human level it is not great. Many staff turnover, absenteeism, lack of motivation … However, other managers of the same level get very different results, higher generally and above all on the human level exceed expectations.
By studying things more closely, we realize that some people are not aware of their emotions and those of others. They do not realize the impact of their behavior. They are not aware of their strengths and especially weak points in this area.
It’s not bad will, it’s an absence of awareness and attention for that.
Goleman talks about driving blindness and cites behaviors such as arrogance, the search for power, the constant pressure on employees, the rejection of criticism, the search for recognition … Many leaders have an idyllic vision of themselves. and overestimate their interpersonal skills.
Here are the skills that will be needed to reinforce this self-awareness:
- Emotional self-awareness: to have recognized one’s emotions and effects.
- Those who possess this skill to know what emotions they are experiencing and why. They understand the connections between their feelings, thoughts, and actions. It is usually their values that guide them towards their goals.
- To know how to self-evaluate with precision: to know one’s resources, capacities and inner limits.
- It is important to know your strengths and weaknesses and to be able to take a step back and know how to laugh at yourself.
- Those who possess this skill are thoughtful, able to learn from experience and are open to criticism and novelty and are able to learn and grow rich.
- Self-confidence: a strong sense of dignity and personal ability.
- Those with this skill are confident in interpersonal relationships and have “presence” and charisma.
- They are able to defend their points of view even if they are unpopular. They take risks for what they think is right.
- They are able to make decisions despite the uncertainties and pressures.
We have seen previously that, regularly, we can fall into sometimes important emotions. Stress can overwhelm us, anger invade us and we can not stop them.
It is precisely here that we should be able to say NO to our impulses. This goes through the ability to awaken our prefrontal to inhibit the amygdala responsible for our condition in survival mode.
Self-control will require strengthening some skills that can be developed:
- Self-control: it is keeping the control of emotions and impulsive impulses.
- Those who possess this skill to dominate well their impulses and their anxieties, they remain calm, positive and imperturbable even in the trying moments. They can think and stay focused despite the stress.
- Reliability: demonstrate integrity and behave responsibly. To see irreproachable conduct from an ethical point of view. Recognize one’s own mistakes
- Professional conscience, righteousness: demonstrate one’s commitments and promises. Take responsibility for the objectives set.
- Adaptability: Stay open to new ideas and react flexibly to changes.
- Motivation: It is under this label that Goleman initially separated into a fifth skill that is found several skills.
- The requirement of results
- People with this competency are always oriented towards excellence, the achievement of demanding objectives, the constant improvement of their performances.
- Adhere to the goals of a group or company.
- This leads to true corporate citizenship.
- The requirement of results
“Employees who see themselves as” visitors “rather than” residents “in a company are showing poor commitment. “Daniel Goleman
6. Initiative and optimism: show anticipation to seize opportunities and perseverance to achieve goals.
“The first cousin of optimism is hope: it is he who mobilizes the energy needed to achieve a goal.“Daniel Goleman
2- Social skills:
“It’s the ability to feel what others think without having to say it that defines the essence of empathy.“Daniel Goleman
2.1- Social Consciousness
- Empathy: This is a basic skill that underpins important human skills:
- To understand others: to really care about others, to listen to them and to understand what they are experiencing by deciphering their emotions and feelings.
- Take advantage of diversity: seize opportunities related to what others bring. Reject prejudice and intolerance.
- Be service-oriented: especially in the service trades, be customer-oriented, whether internal or external.
- Understand organizations: possess a political sense and be able to evaluate the emotions and power relationships that are found in an organization.
2.2- Relationships Management
In this skill will be found many skills that will manage the emotions of others, to generate positive emotions, to defuse conflicts, etc.
- Helping others to develop: for a manager, it’s about developing people. For example, knowing how to give good feedback based on the facts.
- Influence: To be influential, you have to know your interlocutors well and this is clearly part of empathy. You have to be able to adapt and make the necessary gestures.
- Communication: being able to listen kindly and send compelling messages with a consensual approach.
- Conflict management: being able to deal with difficult situations with tactic and diplomacy. Clarify disagreements and propose win-win solutions.
- Leadership: Leading by inspiring and guiding individuals and groups. Share a vision that mobilizes with charisma and sets an example. Leading is distributing energy!
- Catalyze Change: Recognize situations that require change by challenging the status quo. Initiate and lead the changes and shape them.
- Building relationships and building relationships: being able to build and cultivate contacts in networks of diverse and mutually beneficial relationships.
- Know how to work in a team: develop a group spirit and adopt behaviors of respect and helpfulness. Bring energy to the group and not grab the collective victories.
So that’s the set of skills, skills, abilities that must be developed to have more emotional intelligence.
Some are present at our place, others not … everyone must make a personal assessment.